Greedy people get conned most of the time.

From what i read in the newspapers and from the experiences of people whom i know, it seems that those who are victims of con job are mostly greedy people.

Most con jobs promises unusually high 'returns' or 'rewards'. And those who fall prey to this are those greedy people.

A friend of mine was approached by a person selling 'hot' item at the train station. This guy offered to sell a hot cellphone for a fraction of its original price. The conman gave my friend the impression that he somehow had gotten the cellphone through dubious means. My friend offered him an even lower price, hoping to force this desperate man to part with his cellphone for a ridiculous low sum of money. Finally this 'seller' agreed and accepted the offer. When my friend went home , he discovered that the cellphone he bought was a dude and the real one he saw at the train station was switched with a dude ! He wanted to con the seller but he got conned instead.

Another friend desperately looking for a job as he had be laid off a couple of months earlier, met a con guy at a restaurant. This con guy claimed to be an official with the Government Tourism Board and offer to give my friend a tour-guide job. No training or experience needed. All he needed to do is to pay a few hundred license fee to be a tour guide and he would be earning thousands in no time. At first my friend was suspicious of this guy. But this guy showed him his name card and license and he went up a tour bus to chat with the bus driver , right in front of my friend's eyes. so my friend gave him his last few hundred and he never heard from him again !

The principle we often hear about how to avoid being conned.

If an offer sounds too good, it probably is ( a con ) !

The ability to perceve the future

I am now blogging at Shenzhen Airport via a wifi-enabled cellphone.

Many years ago, my cousin's husband started a photoshop. This was at the time when digital cameras were starting making their debuts.

When i heard about the business he started, i knew instantly in my heart his business days are numbered. I knew someday people would stop processing films into hardcopy photos but store them in digital media like CDs, DVDs or online storage instead.

I was proven right. A few years ago , the shop closed down.

Being able to put 2 and 2 together to perceive the future is a great asset. It gives you a sense of what future is going to be and allow you to strategically-place yourself beneficially for future.

Here are some gadgets that i think would be phased-out by users in within next 10 years :

1. Digital Cameras and video camera- soon every cellphone would also be a high-pixelled digital cam or camcorder.

2. Television - TV and laptop would be merged as one. All TV content would be streamed via the internet

3. Watches - Nobody carry watches anymore as cellphones also tell time.

4. Internet Service Providers - soon the internet would be free for all just like the current TV programs.

5. Newspapers - Nobody would buy newspapers anymore due to environmental concerns and also due to cheaper/free news in the internet.

6. Eventually, people would not make telephone calls via telephone services. They would make IP calls through the internet.

Be gracious in your speech

Not too long ago, a colleague of mine got very agitated with me over a small difference of academic opinion. He ended the debate by saying Lanciao ( a chinese word for Penis ) to me and walked away.

In another incident, an old colleague stood up right in the middle of an official meeting and shouted at me , accusing me of delaying the meeting by asking lots of questions and he just want to go home to do his private business.

These two are not young people. They are old and arrogant grouches. Both behave arrogantly because they think they are somebody great in my organisation.

A wise man once said, "It is not what goes into your mouth that defiles you. It is what comes out of your mouth that defiles you."

In short, a person's mouth is what causes him trouble.

When dealing with friends , colleagues , guests , strangers or even your enemies, speak graciously. Do not speak arrogantly. It would not do you any good but may bring you harm in future.

If you think you are someone very smart , there are always smarter persons than you. If you think you are someone rich, there are always someone richer than you. If you think you are a very important person, you can never be very important forever.

A colleague of my uncle had his set of teeth smashed by a gang of people on the streets because he offended someone in his speech. Even till now, he does not know who hired people to beat him up.

Refusing to condemn a crime and its prepetrator is liken to being an assessory to it

Nowadays in this politically-correct ( but statistically and factually incorrect ) world of ours, condemning a crime and the prepertrators is a no-no. People are afraid to say anything that may be looked upon as being 'racist' or 'judgmental'.

An incident where an army major massacred 13 soldiers and injured many at Fort Hood , Texas. There were 170 witnesses to the slaughter. He was later shot and now in coma.

Preliminary reports says that this perpetrator is of a certain anti-Semetic , violent , oppressive Middle Eastern religion , was upset with the way his colleagues were treating him and with the war he was about to be sent to to fight his co-religionists.

He decided to shout some religious verses and started shooting people's back. 

His relatives , when were asked to comment about the incident -
" Maj Hasan's relatives have said they deplore his actions. Cousin Nader Hasan said: "We are mortified with what has unfolded and there is no justification, whatsoever, for what happened."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8347969.stm

I don't know about you but as for me condemn his crimes and condemn him , we must.

Love includes Tough Love

A message about Love was preached in my church yesterday evening. But the pastor did not explain what Love is.

But what is actually Love?

We know from the good book the characteristics of Love - "Love is patient, love is kind .. "

It is unfortunate that the world have broadly accepted the Westernized notion of Love as lovey , dovey , hugs and kisses , I forgive your wrongs , you don't have to be responsible for your actions , i will bear all your punishments  and all is forgotten.

I believe this Lovey Dovey Love is not Christian. It is from those drug-filled hippies who preached anti-war, eastern mysticism and universal sex love in the 60s.

Throughout the bible, we see God demonstrated His Love not only in forgiving and sacrificing but also in punishments and reprimands. This is the Father's love.

The good book says, "Spare the rod, spoil the child"

Lots of people, who embraced the Lovey Dovey Love fail to understand why God who is Love , punishes His people. Why God allowed famine , pestilence, wars to ravage His people.

The truth is He punishes them out of love and the desire to correct.

Tough Love - the act of reprimanding and punishing the offender , not out of revenge or anger but out of love and the intention to correct and reform.

As a person in the education field, time and time again i encounter 'Christian' students from Christians family behaving badly in school and colleges. They are indisciplined, disrespectful , rude , disobedient and etc . They may act like angels at home but they behave like devils outside their parents' monitoring.

I believe this is due to the lack of Tough Love being practiced in these Christian families who believe in Lovey, Dovey Love.

It is very sad to note that students of other religions ( especially from the Buddhist background) are behaving much better than those from Christian background.

This is not surprising because most of those children from Christian families are not born again. They never had a personal encounter with God. They just follow what their family practises - go to church , not praying to idol but they are not born again.


A survey done in UK recently found that Tough Love is good for children.

"Children brought up according to "tough love" principles are more successful in life, according to a study. The think tank Demos says a balance of warmth and discipline improved social skills more than an laissez-faire, authoritarian or disengaged upbringing." 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8348938.stm

On the other extreme, some people think Love means only Tough Love - which is totally wrong.

Do not be an apologist for wrongdoers

Do not try to 'explain' why a wrongdoer did what he did , with the hope that he would not bear the full grunt of punishment.

An apologist usually has close relationship with the person he is trying to justify for. He hopes that he could make his friend look less 'wrong' by providing 'reasonable' explanations for his friend's wrongs

There is no excuse for a crime or a wrong especially if he is an adult and fully knows the consequences of his actions.

Trying to provide excuses to the victim is a very bad thing. An apologist is doing a service to his friend-offender and doing a disservice to the victim.

The victim may feel offended when the apologist tries to deflect damage responsibility away from his friend.

Instead of advising the wrongdoer on his wrongs, an apologist would seem to want to justify the wrongdoer's wrongs.

Do not try to provide 'explanation' when the offender himself never did.

If an apologist really want to help, he should advise the wrongdoer to fully apologize to the victim for his wrongs.

Two are better than one.

The bible says it's not good for man(or woman) to be alone.

The truth is two person work together can exponentially out-perform two individual persons.

Two persons staying together in a house costs less on average compared to a single person.

Two persons co-operating can carry more compared to two persons working individually.

For example if a person can carry a maximum of 100kg, then logically two persons should be able to carry a maximum of 200kg. But the truth is ( if you care  to conduct this experiment ) , two persons working together would be able to carry exceeding 200kg.

Conspiracy Theories

In an open society like those in the West, most conspiracy theories are false.It is very hard for a open-society government to keep a secret without the media or others blurting out.

But in a closed tyrannical society, with the threat of imprisonment and execution for  secret-blurters, most rumors and gossips have big truths in them.

Thus conspiracy theories are more true in a closed society than in an open society.

Prophesies and Postdiction

A prophesy is the foretelling of future events. A postdiction is the effort of trying to fit events into a foretold prophesy.

A prophesy may be from God. But a postdiction is 100% man-made.

I am very skeptical of religious figures who claim to have the 'gift' of prophecy. I believe God does not simply give this gift to many people. Only the selected few get this gift. Not every pastor , priest or holy man is a prophet.

There are many fake prophets in history , notably Nostradamus.

How to recognise real prophesy from postdiction?

A real prophesy is very specific - with specific names , date , time place

It is not open-ended or ambigious. Ambigious prophecies are fake prophesies which try to play safe by being non-specific.

Postdiction are the following :

1. Vague  with no specific time , date , place , or even the event.
     "A disaster will happen in future .. "
     Disasters always happen yearly or even monthly.

2. Open-ended - with no specific time and date
     "In future , this will .. "

3. Recycled over and over again.

• Enthusiasts often tries to fit the most current event to the prophecy that has been used again and again in the past.

4. Cover all possibility

• The use of "may" , "might" , "could" which can turn out to be "may not","might not" and "cannot"

       " If you do this , you might ... "  or might not.

5. Shotgunning - shooting many targets so that at least one would be struck.
     "In 2010, a certain leader would raise up .. "

6. Statistically-likely - very high probability of happening
    "There will be an accident on xyz highway this morning .. "

7. Unfalsified - Hard to verify
    "When he was born, lotus plants appear wherever he placed his feet.."

8. Counting the hits not the misses - over-focusing on the few successful predictions but ignoring the many misses.

9. Allegory - claiming that it's not the physical but the 'spiritual'
    A 'prophet' may predict the death of someone famous. But when he did not die, the explanation given that he did experience 'spiritual death'


10. Moving the goal post.
      "God decided to grant you a second chance .. so He changed His mind.."


11. Conditional 'prophesies' - prophecies keep changing because 'certain conditions' are not met 

     "Your sickness will be healed by October" But when it did not happen, the explanation given is "Your prophesy did not materialize because you did not do this and that .."

12. 'Prophesies' from psychological and emotional evaluations
     We can, for a certain extent, predict what a person is like from his appearance, behaviour and speech. If a person is always anxious, we could predict that he is in fear of something etc. A shabbily-dressed person is most often a person who has a lackadaisical attitude towards many things.

Adapted from :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postdiction

Death is sudden and unexpected - Do not be careless

This week there are two tragic incidents happened to young people. Both are water-related fatal incidents in the little Malaysian town of Kampar.

Incident 1

A hanging bridge collapsed after a few naughty naive school children started jumping and shaking the bridge while some students were crossing it during a school camping activity. The bridge gave way and 22 students fell into the river. 3 students were drown.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/10/27/nation/20091027085329&sec=nation


Incident 2

4 college mates went to a waterfall for a swim. A sudden gush of water pushed 3 of them away and they drowned.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/11/3/nation/5031766&sec=nation

Death is so sudden. A moment of carelessness and naivety can cause the loss of lives.

Like defensive driving, we must always practise defensive living. We must always be conscious of the potential dangers lurking in every corner at our lives. 

Whatever that has the potential of causing injuries or deaths should be avoided.

However, it does not mean that we should be overwhelmed with constant fears but it is just that we should be aware of potential dangers.

We should use our logic and intuition to predict dangers.

In the first incident, deaths would not have occurred if those few naughty boys did not start monkeying around with deaths.

Saying sorry or paying compensation to the grieved cannot bring back lives.

Try and try again until you have tried enough

The bible says in the book of Proverbs , paraphrased, "A righteous man falls and gets up seven times"

It means even though a person fails , he would try again to succeed. It does not mean he keeps on trying till eternity.

He must be a realist. He must know his own strength and weaknesses.

For example, if a person does not have extraordinary ability in singing, he should not keep trying to succeed in this field. He should divert his focus to the field which he excels in.

In this competitive world of ours, pure effort is just not enough. One must be naturally-talented in a particular field in order to do well.

Being hard-headed and ignorant of reality would only waste a person's time , energy and focus if he keeps dwelling in something that he is not talented enough in.

If you are not sure about your natural ability, try talking to experts in the field that you want to venture into. They can tell you what it takes to be successful.

Then again, once in a blue moon, a totally talentless person can be lucky and have short-term success. But he would not last for long.

Thus, always know your strength and weaknesses and evaluate them against something that you are planning to venture into so that success would come sooner and long-lasting.

Huang's Theory of Devolution

First God created humans.

When some humans start becoming nasty and behave uncivilized like apes, they devolved into apes.

Then some got even nastier and they became pigs.

And some ass-kisser became dogs. And some real nasties became roaches

And the dumbest ugliest nastiest people became bugs.

And the low-lives went to live in a pond.

Most leaders and politicians are corrupt lot.

Most people at the top i.e. politicians and CEOs don't just get there by their own merit.

They bribe their way, eliminate their competitors using unscrupulous methods, backbite, butter up the bosses , making use of others, making threats ,trampling others in order to get to the very top.

Because of intense competition, it's hard for even a talented person to make it to the top on their own merit.

Should you forgive those who wronged you?

The answer is Yes.

But what is actually forgiveness?

Should you forgive and take no action against the perpetrator(s) ?

The answer is No.

Forgiveness means you do not hold grudge against that person. But it is your duty to report to the authorities if a crime has been committed. If you do not report it, you are disobeying your country's criminal code.

A crime committed against you is considered a crime committed against the society and country.

You do not forgive and forget a person who raped your daughter or murdered your loved ones. You may eventually not hold a grudge against him personally but it is your duty to report this crime to the authorities!

OK. Those are crimes listed in your country's criminal code. But what about non-criminal wrongs?

If a wrong has been committed against you,

• take the lawful and rightful action e.g. make a complaint or report against the perpetrator(s).
• demand that the perpetrator(s) apologise or make amend or compensation
• if he refuses, downgrade your relationship with him e.g. 
• not being his friend, 
• not on talking terms with him, 
• do not give him any cooperation etc.
• If he apologizes and make amends,
• do not forgive him immediately
• tell him that he is under observation for a period of time
• tell you will only forgive him if he does not repeat his mistakes

Do not make it easy for him to get away with his mistakes. You need to send a strong message to him that you are very unhappy with his actions/behavior.

Why?

• We want to make him think about the consequences of his actions/behavior
• We want him to think hard and think twice before attempting doing it again against us or others
• We are teaching him an invaluable lesson on how to live with others in a harmonious society
• We do not want him to think that his wrongs against us is nothing
• We do not want him to think that such wrongs are easily forgiven and forgotten.
  

May can also mean May Not

May can also mean May Not , Could may also mean Cannot.

We always read "xxx may cure yyy" , "aaa could be the bbb in future"

These are merely slogans that trumpet the opposite to the norm , just to catch our eye-attention.

By saying "may" , a person need not be responsible for his statement if it turns out to be untrue.

"Well , i didn't say definite . i just said May which can turn out to be May Not"

Almost anything may be something else but chances for those are slim.

So maynots are like 99.99999% and mays are like 0.000001%

Sneaky !

Change is a human trait

Human beings just cannot sit still. They cannot feel satisfied with what they have.

When they have a stable life e.g. with a house, family and kids, they long for adventure and romance and all instability brings

But when they are abroad , in other lands, where their lives is constantly in toss and tumble, they long for a stable homely life.

We always desire the other.

Productivity Principles

We can apply these in our lives :

• Do the right thing the first time
• Do it at the right time with the right amount
• Avoid repetitions and redundancy
• Prioritize your work
• Work smart , not work hard
• Complaints are feedbacks
• Continuous improvement
  

Haste work is not excellent work

Whatever you do in haste is not excellent.

Excellent work requires time to contemplate, envision, refine , edit and re-edit, test and trial and improvement.

A good novel is not written in a day. It has to be revised and re-edited many, many times. Even its sentences have to be rephrased to produce a maximum effect on its readers.

Nevertheless, we must bear in mind the time and resource constraint in producing a piece of work. It is pointless to spend years on something that can never be finished e.g. Charles Babbage's 'inference engine'.

It is not the process nor the result

It is both the process and the result that are important.

Getting the result through unlawful process is invalid.

Going through the process without achieving result is a waste of time and effort.

Not going through the process or getting any result belongs to a dreamer.

Be a visionary not a dreamer.

Make sure you are not your own obstacle

I have a colleague. He is nearing his 50s and yet he has not achieved much in his career and life.

He got his basic degree like 10 years ago, which is considered late. He is not married and has no children. In my establishment, he is just an ordinary junior officer despite being in the field for more than 25 years.

Why ? He is his own obstacle.

He keeps telling people ( and himself ) things cannot be done. He sees ghost at every corner. Thus he refuses be adventurous and steps out of his comfort zone.

What a waste of potential. Thats what i told him last week.

The English idiom says "No venture no gain".

Sometime we need to live our lives dangerously.

Be watchful of your best or good friend(s)

Sometimes the person whom we considered as very good friend or even best friend are the person who back stab us.

He or she would probably knows all your intimate secrets as you would share them with him/her. With your secrets in his/her hands, he/she can easily back stab you in front of your boss or family members or even other friends.

I once considered a colleague a very good friend and told her all my company grievances. Some how my boss got a wind of my murmurings and was not too happy with me. Later, after i got transferred, i found out through another friend that my 'good' friend had been backstabbing me in front of my boss.

It came as a shock as she would be the last person i ever thought would betray me but alas, my perception of her was wrong.

People don't always do what they should do

We always hear others incessantly telling us - "You should have done this or that"

If everyone do what he or she should do, there would be no more problems in this world, would there ?

Unfortunately people sometimes don't do what they should.

Even so, what a person should do is subjected to individual's subjective interpretation, according to his or her experience and knowledge.

We can't please everyone so we got to please ourselves

"We can't please everyone so we got to please ourselves" from the song Garden Party by the late 50's idol RIcky Nelson.

Prioritize your pleasing.

1. Yourself
2. Your wife
3. Your family
4. Your boss
5. Your colleagues
6. Your friends
7. Acquaintances

Balanced not extreme

Lots of things in life are all about the right amounts - the equilibriums.

It is not about being minimum or the maximum.

A person who practices patience cannot be patient if someone murdered his entire family. Neither can a person sue another just because the other accidentally brushed against him.

It is all about balance - the threshold one should set for himself to react.

A humble person should not be too humble till he feels worthless. A little pride in his own achievements is good. But he should be so prideful that he thinks others are inferior to him.

It is unfortunate that lots of religions preaches extremism. Thats why we have religionists who are extremists, committing atrocities just because they think in absolute maximums and minimums.

The world is not only in white and black but also in shades of many colors and tones.

Turn the other cheek

The bible says that if someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other cheek for him to slap you as well !

So if someone rapes your wife, do u let him rape your daughter as well?

Or if someone murders your son, do you let him kill your daughter as well?

The bible verse above does not mean do nothing if you are wronged.

What it means is do not react according to your own whims if you are wronged. Make a complaint or police report and let the process of law takes its course.

If someone hits you. Don't hit back because that would make you as guilty as him. Make a police report and let the law deals with him.

If you hit him back, you are doing it out of revenge.

Taking no action when a wrong is being committed is very irresponsible. It emboldens the culprit and encourages him to repeat him offense.

By taking action, we are teaching him that being part of a community, he has to follow the society's rules and regulations and not to hurt others through his actions. This might even prevent him from committing bigger wrongs in future.

Work smart not work hard

We don't have to work hard to be successful. We can make others work for us if we are smart enough.

As a matter of fact, most hard-working people are people of lower social and financial strata e.g. farmers, fishermen, miners etc. They work from dawn to dusk just to earn that meager salary.

Successful people are smart people who knows how to fully-utilize what ever resources at hand including people. They utilized them to achieve success in a pre-planned way.

Nevertheless, the worst kind of people are dumb and lazy people. just make sure you are smart if you aren't hardworking.

Do not take life too seriously.

Some people spend their lives worrying about many things and some spend their days grudging against others.

Hey.Lighten up. Life is short. Don't shorten even more of your lives by doing things which are temporal and have no benefits at all.

Stop all the bickering and start living !

Delete the bad and enjoy the good.

Have a good life.

Why are some things banned ?

A muslim once asked me how does pork taste like? Is it good?

I told him if pork doesn't taste good, nobody would want to eat it. Forbidding it would be unnecessary for Muslims and Jews.

Similarly, lots of things which 'taste' good are being restricted or banned by the law or by religions for the dreadful effects of over-indulgences.

Alcohol , drugs and pork meat are forbidden to be consumed in some religions.

Sex, another wonderful thing , is severely restricted in many religions and laws.

Why ? Over-indulgence in these would cause physical , social and moral damages to the society.

Free sex would cause unwanted pregnancies, dangerous abortions, abandoned kids and school dropouts.

Simple as that !

It is impossible to change a person's character or behavior

People seldom change. It is virtually impossible to change a person's decades of thickened character or behavior.

A single counseling session or a few word of advice cannot change a person's years of hardened habits.

If you think that by marrying someone, you can change a person's character or behavior, forget it.

Some women think that by marrying a guy, they could slowly change his smoking habits. Boy, are they in for a big surprise. Their husbands may not smoke in front of them but they will still smoke behind their backs.

What does it take to change a person? It takes a big tragedy or death or an encounter with the Almighty  to move a person towards change. The death of a love one, the loss of a limb , the loss of almost everything in a fire etc are events that would really shake a person to his core and change him.

If everything is ok, why should he change?

People don't always tell the whole truth

We almost always automatically accept what people tell us as gospel truths.

But sometimes we find out that people do not tell the whole truth. Some people even tell lies.

Many a time we get caught flatfooted when people that we really trust e.g. our family members , our closest friends , our neighbors , colleagues etc lie to us for whatever reason(s) they only know.

We get so disappointed being easily deceived by these people.

So please check the facts before we readily accept someone's story as the gospel truth.

Looks is not everything but it is a very major thing

Looks is not everything. That is true.

But it is a very major thing. Perhaps the most important thing to many.

Rightly or wrongly, people will first judge us by our looks, especially if they do not really know us.

Good looks will gain favors and opportunities - in love , in career, in trusts and in life.

When we go to the supermarket or mall , we would try to get the best-looking fruits or dress we can afford. If we cannot afford, reluctantly we would have to go for the second best.

People always lie to themselves and others , saying "Looks is not important." This is totally crap !

In certain careers e.g. in hospitality , entertainment , public and counter services, good-looking people are specially-chosen for the job.

Nowadays, i pay attention to my looks. I use cleansers for my face and dress selectively to portray a positive image. I lost weight and found that it made more people interested in me and give me better treatment than i used to get.

People judge us by appearance and reaction

When strangers first get to know us, they would first judge us by our appearance - what we look like, how we dress , what the accessories we wear etc.

Why? Because they do not know our behavior and personality.

Scientists said that most of what we inputted into our brains is through our eyes. Our eyes is the most receptive of all our senses.

Perhaps part of human evolution is developing the ability to judge friends or foes through our senses , especially through the eyes.

I noticed this :

• If you are small-size, people would think you would be easily overcome. Thus people would not think twice when they want to scold you or even attack you.
• If you are fat, people would get the first impression that you are clumsy and incompetent.
• If you are ugly, you would be easily-blamed for any failures.
• if you are beautiful and handsome , people of the opposite sex would treat you nicely.
• If you are tall, chances of being selected as a leader is big.

To prevent being taken advantage of due to our appearance , we must send 'signals' to others that we are as weak as they perceived. We can do this through our careful speeches and facial reactions e.g.

"I would definitely take legal action if .. "
"I once scolded .... "
"I am a very determined person."

Why do we need to do this? To prevent us from being bullied and take advantage of and to prevent future abuses.

Planning your life

Nobody told me this when i was growing up.

We need to plan our lives in all areas in order to be successful.

As soon as our reasoning faculties are able to plan and comprehen, we should be planning and charting the future path of our existence.

We should have flexible short term ( within a year ) , medium term ( 1 - 5 years ) and long term goals ( the rest of our lives ) for our education , career , marriage , family , finance etc. planned as soon as possible.

However, we should bear in mind that such goals should be flexible and can be changed easily to accommodate emerging prospects and opportunities.

We should not have our ambitions and goal iron-casted because at the time of planning we have yet to see and consider new opportunities.

It is useful to keep a list of objectives to see how they are fulfilled. Use a blog or something.

My goal in life is to seek happiness in everything.

I don't know about you.

But my goal is life is to seek happiness in everything.

Everything i do and experience and contribute.

Nothing in this world is permanent. Even the most durable things in our lives might perhaps last for only a few decades. The least durable things could last for only seconds.

Therefore seeing that everything is temporal, I will use all my resource to seek happiness even though these moments of happiness and joy are temporal.

I shall also contribute to others' happiness within my means if their happiness also gives me joy and pleasure.

I shall delete all sadness and moments of frustration and evil people from my mind and my life like the way i clicked the delete button on my laptop.

I hope that before i leave this life, i would have experienced many, many moments of happiness and joy and good memories.

Listen to advice from ..experts only !

In the course of our life's journey, many people will want to give u all kinds of advice concerning many things - love , faith , career , jobs , finance, stock market tips etc. They would claim to have this or that successes.

People love to give advice freely as giving advice costs them nothing and they need not shoulder any responsibility for losses resulting from their advice.

If you do not listen to advice , you would be labeled as 'stubborn' but if you do , you might end up trying to figure out which advice to follow as there would be many conflicting advice.

There was once in my life, i got many conflicting advice on my future from well-intentioned people but who know little about what they advised. Most of what they tell me are merely hearsay. I went on a wild goose chase following their advice. From that day onwards, i learned an important lesson.

The lesson i learned is to seek advice from real experts - from those who have a proven record of success in the field you need advice on. Not from any tom, dick or harry.

Go to a good mechanic if u need to seek advice on cars and go to a good vet if you need advice on pets.Don't try to seek advice on cars from a fisherman!

However, sometimes experts get it wrong too ! But not as often as non-experts. Just do some research on your own after listening to the experts for confirmation of facts.

Note : As you are talking and asking people on what to do, always be on the lookout for swindlers and cheaters who want to profit from your state of uninformed. If the advice sounds too good, probably it is.

Do you speak Bad Truth ?

"But i only speak the truth."

We often hear this apologetic statement after a conflict.

The truth is humans are imperfect. There are many bad truths in a person as no one is flawless. Even in the most seemingly-perfect persons like Dalai Lama or Jesus , critics can find bad truths.

The question is do we need to speak bad truths about others and provoke ill-feelings , hatred or quarrels?

Do the manner and intonation we speak the truth hurt others ? Do you speak the 'truth' in a ridicule or vengeful way?

Yes, we may only speak the truth - the bad truths. But others can also find bad truths in us. Yet they are gracious enough not to tell them to our faces.

"You are getting fatter and fatter"
"I don't think u are good looking"
"You talk alot but contributed nothing"

Sometimes some of these bad truths are just a matter of opinion or preferences.And they are not absolute truth either.

So think again before we are tempted to speak 'the truth'. Ask ourselves, would it be beneficial or would it just provoke a quarrel or ill-feelings ?

Our moms always say "If you have nothing good to say about others, just shut up."

Celebrities's lives is an open book

Famous HK singer-actor Andy Lau and his gf ( or wife ? ) Malaysian ex-beauty queen Carol Chu at KLIA airport
http://entertainment.sg.msn.com/photos/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=3551784

If you have plans to go into the entertainment, political or social arena, be prepared for this.

Your life will be an open book to the people.

Nowadays, entertainers do more than entertain people with music and songs. Their social antics and behavior in public are also entertaining news to the masses.

Similarly, people want to know what their favorite politicians are doing , eating , wearing , who they are seeing , their families , wives, mistresses , children , pets etc.

Don't start complaining and asking the public to leave your alone once you have become famous. Why? Because you have already sold yourself to the masses and are reaping rewards richly.

Why is Africa still poor?

Billions , if not trillions of aid dollars have been poured into Africa for many decades ever since the plight of Africans was broadcast into the western world.

Why is it still poor?

Many nations that gained independence at the same time or even later than African nations are surging ahead in economic progress and development whilst Africa is still struggling to feed herself.

Africa is continent of abundant natural resources like oil , minerals , fertile lands , forests etc.

Among the reasons claimed by Africans for their predicament are :

• African exploitation of western companies
• frequent wars and conflicts
• The strongest and best African were taken away by the west as slaves
• Corruption
• Mismanagement by governments
  

If we look at countries like Japan , China , Israel and Singapore.

China opened its economic doors since 1980s and she is now reaping progress being the third most powerful economy in the world , surpassing Germany. China has never been a recipient of any Western aid and she has been too huge for Russia to aid her.

Japan , after being nuked and suffered total devastation in infrastructure and economy, rose up from ashes and became an economic power in less than 30 years after WWII. Her hardworking and always strive to improve citizens made Japan an industrial country.

When her economic floodgates were opened, the Chinese , being global traders in the past, rushed to seize these economic opportunities locally and internationally. Thus, China is now the factory of the world. Thanks to her smart and hardworking citizens.

Israel has nothing but desert. No minerals , no oil , not much land , no forests but it has become a high-tech nation developing high-tech products and weapons. The Jews became world financiers and global technology dealers.

Singapore is just the size of New York City and has no natural resources. But its bright citizens made Singapore an Asian economic tiger. Her businessmen travel all over the world to seek business opportunities.

Now why is African still poor?

The reason is her people. They are not business-smart. Perhaps trading is not part of their culture as agriculture and hunting.

A country is poor because it does not have money. And money is scarce because the economy is not generating wealth. The economy is not generating wealth because there are not many businesses. And this is due to the lack of business-wise businessmen in Africa.

African should not blame the past for their present predicament. Refusing to admit one's shortcoming will not help to better oneself. African should bear in mind that countries like Japan suffered even worse fate in the past.

What should Africa do ?

• Import foreign talents for the start if local talents are not available
• Re-educate its citizens to be business-smart
• Change the agro-hunting culture into a culture of business
• Boot religion out of politics and economy
• Manage corruption ( though it can never be eliminated )
• Maintain political stability even with the help of foreign powers
  

The proverb -

Give a man a fish ( western aid ) and he would eat for a day. Teach him to fish ( do business ) and he would eat for a lifetime.

Everyone has a reason for their actions

Everyone has a reason or reasons for doing what they did.

Their reasons maybe illogical , incomprehensible or escape us. But they have a reason or reasons.

Their actions may look silly , stupid , ridiculous , horrified etc.

But to them, they did it because they have reasons.

I have read this in the newspapers :

• A teenage murdered his parents with a gun.
  
• A young man left his wife for his mother-in-law.
• A rich man leaves his wealth searching for inner peace.
• A father shot dead his son.

Why? They have his own reasons , acceptable or not.
Thus, sometimes we judge others through our own perspective only, without full information.

Always have a spare or two.

Life is full of uncertainties. Whatever we have today, we may easily lose it tomorrow.

The English proverb says - Don't put all eggs in one basket.

Which i interpret it as Don't put all hope in one person or thing.

Which tells us to always have a spare or two.

We always have a spare tire in our car. In case one tire burst, we still have a spare to replace it.

Detectives carry a spare gun in their socks , in case they lose their main gun.

Likewise, always have a spare girlfriend or boyfriend. One moment he/she might be good to you, the next moment he/she might break up with you over some silly small insignificant matters. Having a spare would protect your from loneliness and heartache and it would help you to move on. You just have to make sure they don't know about each other or their wrath of jealousy would engulf you.

But if you are married , please don't have a spare in the form of a mistress. Marriage vows and certificates are legally-binding contracts.They supposed to mean something. You don't need other insurance when they are legally-binding because the state will be your insurer.

What is Real Love ?

Forget about Hollywood love - A beautiful girl meets a handsome guy at a beach on summer and got married and .. they get divorced 3 years down the road.

Why do so many people 'fall out of love' after many years?

In my humble opinion, most of them only fall in love emotionally and physically.

I like to quote something from the bible about love.

Deut 6:5 reads, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

True love requires emotional , spiritual , mental and physical commitments.

When we decide fall in love with someone emotionally, we get married and have sexual love ( physical ) . Youth and beauty do not last forever. When beauty fades, our emotional and physical love wanes.

Thus we need to mentally-commit our love to our spouses. We need to constantly reaffirm our love in our minds to our love ones. We need to tell ourselves that we shall love her no matter what and till death do us part.

What is Success ?

Success means different things to different people.

Some feel that to be successful one must be financially-rich. Some would attribute success to their level of education. Yet some think that success means power and influences.

To me, to be successful one must achieve success in at least 6 key areas of his life.

• Financial Success - Like it or not, a person who cannot earn enough for himself and his family is not a successful person. Can a person claim to be successful if he has to beg , borrow or steal to meet his financial obligations?
  
• Educational Success - Yes, you may be filthily-rich but without that piece of degree, you are not recognized by any institution to have gone through the process of education. That means you have failed to achieve success in education. When people with qualifications speak, everyone listens but when an a person without a degree speaks, people would mock him.
• Family Success - What is the point of being rich and powerful and yet one's family is in shambles? He may be a billionaire but his wife ran away with another man, his daughter is an unmarried pregnant teen and his son is involved with drugs. This is not success.
• Health - A rich sickly man physique does not reflect much success. He may not even live long despite all the wealth he has.
• Influence - A person with great influence over his family and friends is a successful person. He wields respect and can sway others opinion.
• Spirituality & Morality - Great people have great faith and moral.

So success is not merely based on one criterion but it is base on a package of criteria.