Do you speak Bad Truth ?

"But i only speak the truth."

We often hear this apologetic statement after a conflict.

The truth is humans are imperfect. There are many bad truths in a person as no one is flawless. Even in the most seemingly-perfect persons like Dalai Lama or Jesus , critics can find bad truths.

The question is do we need to speak bad truths about others and provoke ill-feelings , hatred or quarrels?

Do the manner and intonation we speak the truth hurt others ? Do you speak the 'truth' in a ridicule or vengeful way?

Yes, we may only speak the truth - the bad truths. But others can also find bad truths in us. Yet they are gracious enough not to tell them to our faces.

"You are getting fatter and fatter"
"I don't think u are good looking"
"You talk alot but contributed nothing"

Sometimes some of these bad truths are just a matter of opinion or preferences.And they are not absolute truth either.

So think again before we are tempted to speak 'the truth'. Ask ourselves, would it be beneficial or would it just provoke a quarrel or ill-feelings ?

Our moms always say "If you have nothing good to say about others, just shut up."

Celebrities's lives is an open book

Famous HK singer-actor Andy Lau and his gf ( or wife ? ) Malaysian ex-beauty queen Carol Chu at KLIA airport
http://entertainment.sg.msn.com/photos/photos.aspx?cp-documentid=3551784

If you have plans to go into the entertainment, political or social arena, be prepared for this.

Your life will be an open book to the people.

Nowadays, entertainers do more than entertain people with music and songs. Their social antics and behavior in public are also entertaining news to the masses.

Similarly, people want to know what their favorite politicians are doing , eating , wearing , who they are seeing , their families , wives, mistresses , children , pets etc.

Don't start complaining and asking the public to leave your alone once you have become famous. Why? Because you have already sold yourself to the masses and are reaping rewards richly.

Why is Africa still poor?

Billions , if not trillions of aid dollars have been poured into Africa for many decades ever since the plight of Africans was broadcast into the western world.

Why is it still poor?

Many nations that gained independence at the same time or even later than African nations are surging ahead in economic progress and development whilst Africa is still struggling to feed herself.

Africa is continent of abundant natural resources like oil , minerals , fertile lands , forests etc.

Among the reasons claimed by Africans for their predicament are :

• African exploitation of western companies
• frequent wars and conflicts
• The strongest and best African were taken away by the west as slaves
• Corruption
• Mismanagement by governments
  

If we look at countries like Japan , China , Israel and Singapore.

China opened its economic doors since 1980s and she is now reaping progress being the third most powerful economy in the world , surpassing Germany. China has never been a recipient of any Western aid and she has been too huge for Russia to aid her.

Japan , after being nuked and suffered total devastation in infrastructure and economy, rose up from ashes and became an economic power in less than 30 years after WWII. Her hardworking and always strive to improve citizens made Japan an industrial country.

When her economic floodgates were opened, the Chinese , being global traders in the past, rushed to seize these economic opportunities locally and internationally. Thus, China is now the factory of the world. Thanks to her smart and hardworking citizens.

Israel has nothing but desert. No minerals , no oil , not much land , no forests but it has become a high-tech nation developing high-tech products and weapons. The Jews became world financiers and global technology dealers.

Singapore is just the size of New York City and has no natural resources. But its bright citizens made Singapore an Asian economic tiger. Her businessmen travel all over the world to seek business opportunities.

Now why is African still poor?

The reason is her people. They are not business-smart. Perhaps trading is not part of their culture as agriculture and hunting.

A country is poor because it does not have money. And money is scarce because the economy is not generating wealth. The economy is not generating wealth because there are not many businesses. And this is due to the lack of business-wise businessmen in Africa.

African should not blame the past for their present predicament. Refusing to admit one's shortcoming will not help to better oneself. African should bear in mind that countries like Japan suffered even worse fate in the past.

What should Africa do ?

• Import foreign talents for the start if local talents are not available
• Re-educate its citizens to be business-smart
• Change the agro-hunting culture into a culture of business
• Boot religion out of politics and economy
• Manage corruption ( though it can never be eliminated )
• Maintain political stability even with the help of foreign powers
  

The proverb -

Give a man a fish ( western aid ) and he would eat for a day. Teach him to fish ( do business ) and he would eat for a lifetime.

Everyone has a reason for their actions

Everyone has a reason or reasons for doing what they did.

Their reasons maybe illogical , incomprehensible or escape us. But they have a reason or reasons.

Their actions may look silly , stupid , ridiculous , horrified etc.

But to them, they did it because they have reasons.

I have read this in the newspapers :

• A teenage murdered his parents with a gun.
  
• A young man left his wife for his mother-in-law.
• A rich man leaves his wealth searching for inner peace.
• A father shot dead his son.

Why? They have his own reasons , acceptable or not.
Thus, sometimes we judge others through our own perspective only, without full information.

Always have a spare or two.

Life is full of uncertainties. Whatever we have today, we may easily lose it tomorrow.

The English proverb says - Don't put all eggs in one basket.

Which i interpret it as Don't put all hope in one person or thing.

Which tells us to always have a spare or two.

We always have a spare tire in our car. In case one tire burst, we still have a spare to replace it.

Detectives carry a spare gun in their socks , in case they lose their main gun.

Likewise, always have a spare girlfriend or boyfriend. One moment he/she might be good to you, the next moment he/she might break up with you over some silly small insignificant matters. Having a spare would protect your from loneliness and heartache and it would help you to move on. You just have to make sure they don't know about each other or their wrath of jealousy would engulf you.

But if you are married , please don't have a spare in the form of a mistress. Marriage vows and certificates are legally-binding contracts.They supposed to mean something. You don't need other insurance when they are legally-binding because the state will be your insurer.

What is Real Love ?

Forget about Hollywood love - A beautiful girl meets a handsome guy at a beach on summer and got married and .. they get divorced 3 years down the road.

Why do so many people 'fall out of love' after many years?

In my humble opinion, most of them only fall in love emotionally and physically.

I like to quote something from the bible about love.

Deut 6:5 reads, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

True love requires emotional , spiritual , mental and physical commitments.

When we decide fall in love with someone emotionally, we get married and have sexual love ( physical ) . Youth and beauty do not last forever. When beauty fades, our emotional and physical love wanes.

Thus we need to mentally-commit our love to our spouses. We need to constantly reaffirm our love in our minds to our love ones. We need to tell ourselves that we shall love her no matter what and till death do us part.

What is Success ?

Success means different things to different people.

Some feel that to be successful one must be financially-rich. Some would attribute success to their level of education. Yet some think that success means power and influences.

To me, to be successful one must achieve success in at least 6 key areas of his life.

• Financial Success - Like it or not, a person who cannot earn enough for himself and his family is not a successful person. Can a person claim to be successful if he has to beg , borrow or steal to meet his financial obligations?
  
• Educational Success - Yes, you may be filthily-rich but without that piece of degree, you are not recognized by any institution to have gone through the process of education. That means you have failed to achieve success in education. When people with qualifications speak, everyone listens but when an a person without a degree speaks, people would mock him.
• Family Success - What is the point of being rich and powerful and yet one's family is in shambles? He may be a billionaire but his wife ran away with another man, his daughter is an unmarried pregnant teen and his son is involved with drugs. This is not success.
• Health - A rich sickly man physique does not reflect much success. He may not even live long despite all the wealth he has.
• Influence - A person with great influence over his family and friends is a successful person. He wields respect and can sway others opinion.
• Spirituality & Morality - Great people have great faith and moral.

So success is not merely based on one criterion but it is base on a package of criteria.